Couples Therapy
I have found couples in at least one of three places in their relationships. You are in it to keep it moving forward. You are in it to figure out how to end it. Or you are just not sure where things are and want to work on finding out. You want the joys in your life to outweigh the seemingly inevitable stresses and complications you are trying to cope with every day in this increasingly complicated world. And, yes, the most intimate of our relationships bring us that very joy we expect and desire to have most of the time.
Change
Therein lies the problem… As adults, we discover our relationships are changing over time. Even if we are not changing our goals and desires, our partner may be changing their goals and desires as things begin to feel stressed and get a little messy. The harder you try to connect and lessen the uncertainties, the further apart you seem to get. Yet, you never got in this intimate relationship in the beginning with the intention of seeing it fall apart.
Great marriages aren’t about clear communication – they’re about small moments of attachment and intimacy. —Dr. John Gottman
What the heck is going on then?
This is where therapy plays an important part. Whether your relationship falls in the category of really great to a little stressed or moderately stressed to miserably stressed, it is vital to understand all human beings go through one of these categories for any length of time sooner or later.
What helps?
Your original connection with your partner was emotional because that’s how you found meaning in each other. And you have found meaning. Yet, things seem to change as they usually do and so what we mean to each other may change as well. But it doesn’t have to be a change that puts an end to it all if you do not want it to be.
We will look at what you inherited emotionally. The knowledge of these inherited inter-generational automatic built-in needs will help focus your choices and manner of communication when the relationship is starting to drift apart. The need to share emotions is the ticket to re-connecting. The opposite of connection is unhealthy pattern or patterns that are immovable and cause separation. We can work on discovering what helps you move through these “immovable parts”. When you call for a free consultation, we will talk about what brings you to therapy and begin to discuss some beginning goals and what to expect.